Muslim Parenting

Here Umm Zaid of Modernmuslima.com gives a detailed explanation of the merits of breastfeeding and even covers its mention in the Qur’an and praying while breastfeeding.

Worth a read, especially if you are pregnant and are deciding between feeding your baby naturally or feeding her with a bottle.

First posted on August 6, 2006.

Tackling your children’s questions about being Muslim and therefore “different” if you live in a non-Muslim country can be really daunting. Especially when their self-awareness of being Muslim comes with awkwardness and maybe even shame around “not fitting in.”

Sr. Tasmiya who lives in Brisbane, Australia, had to confront just such a dilemma early on with her five year old son. She writes:
‘Yesterday we managed to get ourselves organised enough to be EARLY for school. We decided to head over to the library where 5 year old could drool over his favourite science book.

As we walked towards the library we passed one of 5 year old’s classmates. The two boys greeted each other in that 5 year old way - awkward wave and mumbled hellos and all without any eye contact.

I asked 5 year old if he would like to invite his friend to the library. Without hesitation he whispered, “No, mummy. He doesn’t know about the scarf…oh maybe he does know about it..no, no I don’t think he does.”

I was floored. Could my son actually be embarrassed about my scarf?’

You can read more of what she had to write about this crisis with her son and also view the many interesting responses she received from other Muslim parents on how to deal with the situation here.

To summarize these comments (coming from several different Muslim perspectives):

- Make sure to instill a sense of confidence in being Muslim in your child

- Point out that outside of where you live, there are large areas of the world where most people are Muslim. In other words: “You are not an anomaly.”

- Emphasize similarities between Muslims and non-Muslims

- Make an effort to explain the reasons behind why Muslims do things differently. Explain as much as you
can.

- Instead of just framing non-Muslims and Muslims as being “different” from one another, emphasize the concepts of right and wrong, stressing the Muslim way as the right way.

- Encourage your children’s friendships with other Muslim children and discourage their friendships with non-Muslim children

- Ask your children about what they are thinking as regards their Muslim identity, especially when they make a comment like the one Tasmiya’s son did. Find out just what he meant by it. Otherwise, you may be jumping to a conclusion not intended by your child and/or your response may not best serve her needs.

- Be proactive. As part of developing a strong Muslim identity encourage your children to give dawah - in the form of telling others at school about Muslim holidays, for example. This reinforces the idea that they have something valuable to share with others and are not simply passively comparing their lives with those of the non-Muslim children they encounter.

First posted in August 2006.

From Tasmiya in Australia, who describes herself as “- Muslim - Australian- 30-something - wife - mother to 3 beautiful boys - owner of 2 boy cats - thoroughly enjoying being the matriarch in the home - part-time veterinarian - procrastinator extraordinaire”:

- You can wake up whenever YOU want to wake up. You don’t need to dress up and run around madly in search of that matching scarf

- You can relax. Breakfast is time for chatting, eating and joking. Not a time for yelling, “Hurry up - we’re going to be late!”

- Baby doesn’t get his routine interrupted while you pick up or drop off the school boy

- There are no emotional upheavals for you to deal with. Your child won’t be angry, tired or hungry in the afternoon because you will have taken care of his needs

- You can go on holidays ANYTIME instead of having to wait for school holidays (busiest and most expensive times of year)

- You can live abroad for a while, wherever and whenever since the kids’ school is wherever you are.

You can read Tasmiya’s great blog here.

First posted August 7, 2006.First posted August 7, 2006.

We all know that being a mother can be quite a responsibility and indeed burden - this is acknowledged several times in the Qur’an. But as Hesham Hassaballa spotlights in his article, “The Difficulties of Being A Muslim Dad,” that Muslim fathers also shoulder [if they step up to the tasks] weighty obligations.

He writes,“As a Muslim father, I must shoulder an enormous responsibility, both fiscal and religious, and this responsibility is first encountered before I even have any children at all.” You can view the full article here.

First posted on August 14, 2006.