Muslim Parenting

Before becoming a mother I never thought about or imagined that I would be spattered with and cleaning up urine (and that other stuff) so much.

But really every body fluid is represented. Often my husband and I have mused that if a crime scene team were to come to our house they would find traces of pee everywhere throughout the house (even though we’ve cleaned).

What does that mean for cleanliness for prayer?

I have not found any hadiths specifically related to breaking wudu by tending to one’s child (if someone knows of one please send it in), but did find several that indicated that if children soil you it is enough to wash the area on which they urinated with water.

This makes sense since Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and his companions could not always count on having several garments into which they could change because a baby peed on them.

I’m not sure what they did for baby fecal spills. Again, if you do know, please comment.

Here are the hadiths I found (all from Bukhari) pertaining to children’s urine on one’s clothing:

Volume 8, Book 73, Number 31:

Narrated ‘Aisha:

The Prophet took a child in his lap for Tahnik (i.e. he chewed a date in his mouth and put its juice in the mouth of the child). The child urinated on him, so he asked for water and poured it over the place of the urine.

Volume 1, Book 4, Number 222:

Narrated ‘Aisha:

A child was brought to Allah’s Apostle and it urinated on the garment of the Prophet. The Prophet asked for water and poured it over the soiled place.

Volume 1, Book 4, Number 223:

Narrated Um Qais bint Mihsin:

I brought my young son, who had not started eating (ordinary food) to Allah’s Apostle who took him and made him sit in his lap. The child urinated on the garment of the Prophet, so he asked for water and poured it over the soiled (area) and did not wash it.

Volume 1, Book 4, Number 227:

Narrated Asma’:

A woman came to the Prophet and said, “If anyone of us gets menses in her clothes then what should she do?” He replied, “She should (take hold of the soiled place), rub it and put it in the water and rub it in order to remove the traces of blood and then pour water over it. Then she can pray in it.”

Volume 1, Book 4, Number 223:

Narrated Um Qais bint Mihsin:

I brought my young son, who had not started eating (ordinary food) to Allah’s Apostle who took him and made him sit in his lap. The child urinated on the garment of the Prophet, so he asked for water and poured it over the soiled (area) and did not wash it.

It used to be that there was little that you could do to lessen stretch marks. They were just the badge of motherhood. But now there are a range of products that do a good job of fading and minimizing all kinds of scars (including stretch marks and Cesaerean scars). They work best on newer scars but still have an effect on stretch marks or scars that you have had for awhile.

You can also use these remedies on kids’ scars.

Silicone strips and sheets

These are gel-like strips and rectangular sheets or resemble Bandaids. They can flatten and normalize the color of a scar over a number of weeks or months.

The packages don’t explain what the mechanism behind them is, so I can’t share that. Though, from what I’ve read it seems that when you cover a scar as with a bandaid or silicone strip (particularly a newer one) you increase your chances of having it shrink.

I can say that I have used this method with success on the vaccination scar on my arm, which I’d had since an infant. The scar did shrink, flatten out and turn a more normal color.

I’m a bit hesistant to use the silicone strips now, because I don’t like the thought of the silicone possibly being absorbed by my skin and accumulating in my body (again the manufacturers don’t tell you how the strips work) - but do know that in a pinch, this is a very effective method for lessening a scar (and I would guess that subcategory of scar, the stretchmark).

Onion skin deriviative gels and creams

The most commonly known brand here is Mederma, though I buy the generic /store brand. You apply the gel or cream several times a day over a period of several weeks before you can expect to see significant results,though I have seen improvement in less time than that.

What I do not like about these gels/creams is that besides their active ingredient (the onion skin extract) they usually include a lot of junk besides. I’m usually quite dilligent about selecting cosmetics and toiletries that include ingredients that God (swt) has directly blessed us with, so I’m not happy with an ingredient list that includes chemicals like phenoxyethanol, methylparaben, disodium EDTA, etc. As I breastfeed my daughter, these are a no-no for me. But, if you don’t have these concerns, the onion extract creams can be very effective.

Apparently, it is possible to use actual onion skin (the papery, silvery outer skin; not the thick inner layers) to treat scars as well. You can read more about that here.

High potency vitamin E cream, gels or oils

You may see some success with vitamin E supplement capsules but they won’t be as effective as a high potency (12,000 IU, 20,000 IU, etc.) cosmetic grade cream, gel or oil. I chose a cream from Derma-e because I recognized most of its ingredients.

Essential Oils

There are a number of essential oils that are supposed to help normalize skin. On the list are neroli/bitter orange, ylang-ylang, jasmine, orange, grapefruit, helichrysum (this is supposed to be extremely effective but I’ve been unable to find it at any of the stores in my area), rose and lavender. There are, of course, others, but this is a short list. To use, you’d mix a few drops of these oils with a “carrier” oil such as jojoba, almond or coconut and apply as often as possible.

Other Oils

Rosa mosqueta (also known as rosehip oil), borage seed and evening primrose, all of which contain high levels of essential fatty acids, all got top marks in terms of their ability to reduce stretch marks. The rosa mosqueta oil has to be kept refrigerated after opening, so I haven’t found it as convenient to use as some other remedies, as I can’t keep it with my other toiletries and I have to remember to fish it out of the fridge to use it.

Other remedies

I’ve also read of success with fresh aloe vera pulp (you may have aloe as a houseplant chez vous and so could just harvest a leaf), and with calendula oil, gels and creams.

And then there are the tried and true - cocoa butter, olive oil and traditional for some, new to others shea butter.

Something else I’ve read about is keeping the stretch marked area bandaged so that the skin underneath is kept constantly clammy (you know, that Band-Aid effect). This is supposed to encourage the development of new skin in the area. I don’t know whether it works or not, but may give it a try.

In Due Time

One thing that the references I read underscored is that most stretchmarks will vanish or lessen in appearance on their own in time anyway (alhamdullilah). So, at best the remedies I’ve mentioned may just speed things along.

**Please note that my mention of certain brands isn’t necessarily an endorsement. I think that cosmetics/toiletries are usually parity products, so I think it’s important to shop around, read labels and then go for the product that works best for you in terms of price and ingredients.

First posted in July 2006.