Muslim Parenting

English Translation of the Qur’an read by JD Hall

My rating: ****

JD Hall is an African-American actor, known as “The Voice” because of his extensive voice work. He is also a practicing Muslim and Imam. Here he has turned his attention and skills to reading an English translation of the Qur’an and the result is brilliant.

His voice is deep and resonant and unlike some translations I have listened to is used to great effect- expressing the emphasis and emotion for which the Qur’an calls.

I’m not sure which translation was used for this reading. However, it is a translation that uses modern, accessible language (no thous or thees here).

The translation is divided into 30 juz (a traditional division for Qur’an). This is my only issue with the translation since one surah comes pretty quickly after the next and it can be hard to figure out just which surah translation is being read. I find it easier listening when a translation or recitation is divided surah by surah - that way I don’t get lost. But maybe this way, insha’Allah, I’m forced to pay very close attention to what is being said.

I have not seen this translation for sale - but instead only for download on the Internet. You can find it at Aswat al Islam and at Islamicity.

JD Hall has also released a CD ‘Tawheed - The Oneness of God (Monotheistic Praise Songs Drawn from the Islamic, Jewish and Christian Tradition‘).

I found the message of the songs (lyrics) to be pretty squarely Islamic. The CD is heavy on percussion and synthesizer (I know that there are differing fatwa about whether this kind of audio is permissable) and features JD singing praises to God, describing Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and his mission, tauheed, etc. The sound is a kind of folksy-bluesy rock.

The CD was not really to my personal taste, but I think it’s a commendable effort. I especially liked “R.U.A Believer” and “It Grieves My Soul.”

All of the CDs tracks can be previewed and it is available for sale at CDBaby.com.

First posted on July 25, 2006.

As I am fast approaching my due date (insha’Allah) one of my friends threw a baby shower for me. Not being materialistic/consumerists sorts my husband and I felt it really important that it not be an occasion for which the sisters felt they needed to shop. We have either bought or gotten the [hand-me-down] things we need, alhamdullilah from friends anyway.

So, I asked the sisters to instead of bringing a physical gift to bring duas and advice instead. Alhamdullilah, this worked out really well. We had a great afternoon of sisters-only conversation, fellowship, food and fun.

We ended up sitting in a circle as one by one the sisters (starting with the sisters with the oldest kids and then moving down) talked about their experiences as mothers, gave advice and offered duas that had helped them through labor or difficult times.

I felt truly honored and supported and insha’Allah will be able to use the advice they gave. I also noticed that as we talked several of the sisters’ teenage daughters were listening intently from the edges of the circle. This was nice to see, as I guessed our comments would provide some insight for them as young women on being a Muslim wife and mother.

Some surahs suggested by the sisters at my shower:

Surah Maryam

Surah Yusuf - One sister suggested reciting or reading it in translation over three fruits that you later eat. She said she had been given this idea by an older sister and later did some reading about the possibility of objects becoming imprinted with energy - in this case, the potent energy of the Qur’an

Several sisters talked of the usefulness of having my husband read Qur’an or make dua during the labor. Not always that well understood by the hospital staff [mercifully, we’re planning a home birth, insha’Allah], according to one sister who said that her sister’s husband had been told to stop reading from his ‘book’ and help when he was reading aloud to her sister from the Qur’an. I guess it escaped the staff that reading from a ‘book’ could be a help to anyone…

Also mentioned - reading aloud from Qur’an to the baby (and playing the recitation on tape/CD) and setting aside time each day to read from Qur’an.

“…whoever disbelieves in the Shaitan (note: Satan) and believes in Allah he indeed has laid hold on the firmest handle, which shall not break off, and Allah is Hearing, Knowing” 2.256

First posted on July 19, 2006

The following ayat (in translation) truly encapsulates how God wants us to treat our parents:

‘Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents.
Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt,nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor.

And out of kindness, lower them the wing of humility and say:
‘My Lord! bestow on them Your Mercy as they cherished me in childhood.’

Qur’an 17:23-24

First posted on July 26, 2006

The Times (London) reported last week that Muhammad is now the second most popular baby name in Britain.

“Muhammad is now second only to Jack as the most popular name for baby boys in Britain and is likely to rise to No 1 by next year, a study by The Times has found. The name, if all 14 different spellings are included, was shared by 5,991 newborn boys last year, beating Thomas into third place, followed by Joshua and Oliver.”

Demographics are driving the name’s popularity. The Times reports that “Overall, Muslims account for 3 per cent of the British population, about 1.5 million people. However, the Muslim birthrate is roughly three times higher than the non-Muslim one.”

You can access the full article here.

Stay-at-home, homeschooling Dad, Bob Harte got frustrated with the amount of time his son was spending on the computer.

So, he hired a programmer to create software that would time his son’s use of the computer and log him off automatically once he had reached his limit.

The software, which works on computers running Windows XP is available for free download.

It’s linked to from the website community, AmigoMaker, that Harte runs for hunters and fishermen.

I have not used the software and don’t know Mr. Harte personally, so I cannot vouch for the quality of the software.

Setting Limits for Your Kids This Summer
By Christina Lemmey

Children see their summer vacation as a time for relaxing, playing, and having more freedom. There’s no schoolwork, friends want to just hang out, and doing chores or having a strict schedule sometimes goes out the window. Often we parents want to avoid arguments and want to be “friends” with our kids, thinking they deserve some leniency since they’ve worked so hard in school. You may think that you’re rewarding high achievement but in reality you’re conceding control of your household.

Children need strong, positive role models who will teach them how to make proper decisions in life. Parents are the very first role models for their children and the responsibility of teaching their children lies with them. When the parents relinquish their teaching duties, chaos in the household will ensue.

Here are some ideas for keeping the parents in charge of the household this summer:

1. Wake up your child by a certain time each morning. [Admin - Taken care of if you are waking them up for fajr] That doesn’t mean he has to be up by 6:30am but make sure he’s up by 8am or 9am at the latest. He’s still “sleeping in” but can also have some morning hours to play or plan his day. Letting kids sleep until all hours of the afternoon will only lead to staying up late at night and it will be a tough habit to break come September when school starts again.

2. Limit your child’s television and computer time. Why contribute to the childhood obesity epidemic? Watching mindless TV shows or playing endless hours of violent video games will make your child’s mind go numb and she’s not learning anything worthwhile. Try using “TV tickets” where 1 ticket = 30 minutes of TV. She can use her tickets anytime during the day but when they’re gone, the TV stays off.

3. Reassess your child’s responsibilities. Every child is capable of handling age-appropriate chores so take this time to make changes to their chore list. Encourage your child to have daily responsibilities that need to get done and find a block of time for your child to accomplish these things. If your child is an early riser, encourage him to do his chores right after breakfast and be done with them for the day. Or set a kitchen timer and see if they can finish their chores before the timer dings. Be sure to remind your children that doing chores is helping the family and not only a means to earning allowance.

4. Set your child’s bedtime. “Night owl” behavior can often lead to trouble and bad sleeping habits so make a set bedtime and stick with it. If you want to make it 30-60 minutes later than usual since it’s still light out, then go ahead, but growing children still need lots of sleep and it will help your child learn to stick to a schedule.

5. Don’t be afraid to set rules. Make up additional rules that help your household run smoothly. Be sure these rules are fair and age-appropriate based on the number and ages of your children. Always remember that your children will look to you first for guidance so teach them how to make rules and stick to them.

Summer vacation doesn’t have to be full of tantrums from spoiled children who have no respect for their parents. Earn your child’s respect by showing him/her how to set limits, how to follow a schedule, and how to handle household responsibilities. You’ll keep control of your household and your child will have the basis for becoming a functional adult.

Christina Lemmey is the mother of two girls and the owner of http://www.survivingathome.com

Christina has a number of very interesting articles on her blog right now on kids and summer.

First posted on July 20, 2006.

Big news out of Britain this week: A new bill that would support the rights of mothers to breastfeed their babies has been put forward. This is wonderful news as there has been a bit of a war on in recent years with breastfeeding Mums routinely being asked to leave restaurants, stores and other public places while mothers bottlefeedings were unmolested. Under the bill businesses who harass nursing Mums could be fined thousands of pounds.

While I think it’s important to be discreet when feeding baby, I do think the whole world should be available for doing so. It is a baby’s right, is better for baby and increasingly they are proving for mothers as well. Alhamdullilah - insha’Allah the bill will pass.

It’s already passed in Scotland.

Here Umm Zaid of Modernmuslima.com gives a detailed explanation of the merits of breastfeeding and even covers its mention in the Qur’an and praying while breastfeeding.

Worth a read, especially if you are pregnant and are deciding between feeding your baby naturally or feeding her with a bottle.

First posted on August 6, 2006.

Tackling your children’s questions about being Muslim and therefore “different” if you live in a non-Muslim country can be really daunting. Especially when their self-awareness of being Muslim comes with awkwardness and maybe even shame around “not fitting in.”

Sr. Tasmiya who lives in Brisbane, Australia, had to confront just such a dilemma early on with her five year old son. She writes:
‘Yesterday we managed to get ourselves organised enough to be EARLY for school. We decided to head over to the library where 5 year old could drool over his favourite science book.

As we walked towards the library we passed one of 5 year old’s classmates. The two boys greeted each other in that 5 year old way - awkward wave and mumbled hellos and all without any eye contact.

I asked 5 year old if he would like to invite his friend to the library. Without hesitation he whispered, “No, mummy. He doesn’t know about the scarf…oh maybe he does know about it..no, no I don’t think he does.”

I was floored. Could my son actually be embarrassed about my scarf?’

You can read more of what she had to write about this crisis with her son and also view the many interesting responses she received from other Muslim parents on how to deal with the situation here.

To summarize these comments (coming from several different Muslim perspectives):

- Make sure to instill a sense of confidence in being Muslim in your child

- Point out that outside of where you live, there are large areas of the world where most people are Muslim. In other words: “You are not an anomaly.”

- Emphasize similarities between Muslims and non-Muslims

- Make an effort to explain the reasons behind why Muslims do things differently. Explain as much as you
can.

- Instead of just framing non-Muslims and Muslims as being “different” from one another, emphasize the concepts of right and wrong, stressing the Muslim way as the right way.

- Encourage your children’s friendships with other Muslim children and discourage their friendships with non-Muslim children

- Ask your children about what they are thinking as regards their Muslim identity, especially when they make a comment like the one Tasmiya’s son did. Find out just what he meant by it. Otherwise, you may be jumping to a conclusion not intended by your child and/or your response may not best serve her needs.

- Be proactive. As part of developing a strong Muslim identity encourage your children to give dawah - in the form of telling others at school about Muslim holidays, for example. This reinforces the idea that they have something valuable to share with others and are not simply passively comparing their lives with those of the non-Muslim children they encounter.

First posted in August 2006.

From Tasmiya in Australia, who describes herself as “- Muslim - Australian- 30-something - wife - mother to 3 beautiful boys - owner of 2 boy cats - thoroughly enjoying being the matriarch in the home - part-time veterinarian - procrastinator extraordinaire”:

- You can wake up whenever YOU want to wake up. You don’t need to dress up and run around madly in search of that matching scarf

- You can relax. Breakfast is time for chatting, eating and joking. Not a time for yelling, “Hurry up - we’re going to be late!”

- Baby doesn’t get his routine interrupted while you pick up or drop off the school boy

- There are no emotional upheavals for you to deal with. Your child won’t be angry, tired or hungry in the afternoon because you will have taken care of his needs

- You can go on holidays ANYTIME instead of having to wait for school holidays (busiest and most expensive times of year)

- You can live abroad for a while, wherever and whenever since the kids’ school is wherever you are.

You can read Tasmiya’s great blog here.

First posted August 7, 2006.First posted August 7, 2006.