Muslim Parenting

Meccacentric.com, which sells audio and video of lectures by prominent Muslim scholars such as Hamza Yusuf, Siraj Wahaj, Abdullah Hakim Quick and others, has decided to stop offering audio tapes.

So, they’ve put all of the audio tapes on 50% off clearance. There are a number of interesting titles available (a bunch of stuff on Muslim families and youth, for instance), but since they are discontinuing the line, once something is gone (in audio tape) it’s gone.

To check out the list of on sale audio tapes click through and then click on the red bordered Audio Tape Closeout Sale 50% Off box on the upper right.

They ship globally.

Meccacentric.com produces and sells Islamic audio and video lectures from such leading lights as Siraj Wahaj, Hamza Yusuf, Khalid Blankinship and others.

There are a ton of titles, on all sorts of topics from a Muslim perspective (there are a large number of titles devoted to youth, family issues and marriage).

They ship globally.

Anyway, you can get 10% off your Meccacentric purchase by entering the code “WEB” after you checkout.

My rating ****/****

Although I’m not it’s target audience - I’d say that this picture book’s intended demographic is toddlers (as a read-aloud book) to 6 year olds - I really enjoyed “My Mum is a Wonder” by Michele Messaoudi.

The story follows a young boy through a typical day with his mother; the wonderful Mum of the title. The tale is told in perky rhyme.

What I liked…

- Islam is seamlessly integrated into the boy’s day. There is no awkward exposition during which the author through the boy explains that the characters are Muslim. We see Islam in the mother’s modest dress, the fact that when the boy greets her in the morning she is reading Qur’an and I think,the author intends, through her kindness to her son and to the others around her. As such the book would make a good subtle introduction to Islam for a non-Muslim child.

- Mum and son are not the Western stereotype of Muslims. I’m generally on the look-out for books with brown and black characters, but in this case I found the way in which the family was portrayed (they are both fair - the boy has red hair), refreshing. By making this choice, without being too specific (we don’t know whether Mum is an English revert, Bosnian, Aydge, etc.) the author is letting the world and our kids know that Muslims come in all sorts of packages.

-The real appreciation that the little boy shows for his mother. The whole book is an ode to Mum. Insha’Allah the book can reinforce respect for parents in little readers and encourage them to appreciate what their parents do for them. Again, refreshing, given the sometimes subtle, sometimes not way in which so much of what is out there for children’s consumption undermines these values.

Finally, “My Mum is a Wonder” is well-written, fun to read and it’s illustrations are clear and cute. One for the library.

I’ll keep an eye out for other books by the same author.

**Note - “My Mum is a Wonder” is put out by The Islamic Foundation - UK, and as such uses British spelling and phrasings. As an American, I didn’t find this to be a problem at all - just letting you know.

My husband and I ended up talking a lot about the suggestion presented by Soundvision that parents should encourage their teens to marry in order to safeguard them and their faith.

Again, it may be our cultural bias, but we are having trouble thinking positively about this suggestion.

The divorce rates among Muslims in the West are already very high.

It seems that there can be so much difference even between someone at 16 and that same person at 25. How does early marriage accomodate these changes? How does it inhibit or facilitate growth and maturity?

I think that the article writers may not be suggesting that 16 year olds set up house together. Instead maybe the vision is of married teens living with their respective parents, continuing their studies and benefitting from parental guidance and support.

But then, I thought, are these teens really growing as a married couple, or just continuing to live as children with few responsibilities of their own?

What happens if children come into the picture? Will they become Mummy and Daddy’s responsibility as well?

Also, what happens if the person our daughter liked or who we thought well-suited to her at age 16 is a very different person; one who is less compatible with her at age 26? I know that I don’t want a “starter marriage” for my daughter.

While no one wants their children to sin, is early marriage the only way to prevent pre-marital relations?

These are all questions we asked and for which we have no definitive answers.

I was thinking, however, that one important element in all of this is preparing children adequately to wait, if wait they must.

Making sure that sex and romance are at once explained and in a sense demystified. That they know what Muslim parents expect of them and why. And also importantly know what can happen when the straight path isn’t followed. Having some sort of timeline may also help. It is easier to wait for something when you know when the waiting will end.

MashAllah! Soundvision offers a really great list of tips for Muslim parents of teenagers on supporting their children in growing into good Muslim adults.

Some of the tips focus on increasing family time and fortifying ourselves first as a way of strengthening our parenting. Other tips, like ‘building’ a masjid in your home, dating your teenager, and having a halal fun day once a month are pretty innovative.

The article suggests that we marry our teenagers early - I think the assumption here is that although married the couple may continue living with their respective parents and keep going with their studies. This is culturally foreign to me - but may well be a good strategy if well thought out and managed.

Anyway, teens can be exasperating and full of novel ideas as the Soundvision article is, it is worth a read.

Okay, so An American Family’s Blog, is quite different from the other Muslim parents and family blogs I usually read for this site. It is the brainchild of Hijabman of Muslim t-shirt fame.

It seems that he is part of a very tight-knit “eight-person American [Okay, so we have one Brit…]Muslim family.” Hijabman’s family includes, his parents, sisters, brother and their spouses and children.

The family seems to spend a lot of time together - it’s almost as if they live in a joint household, though I know from their posts that they just live near one another.

They have been careful on the blog not to reveal too much. You don’t know where they live and you don’t see any of the adults’ faces, though you do hear their voices and sometimes see their feet.

The posts (especially the video posts) are all fairly off-beat: they talk about lotas (Urdu/Hindi name for waterpot used in the bathroom), mayhem in Karachi and Palestine, chocolate and all sorts of other topics. Remember that, in theory, there are eight very different family members contributing to this blog.

Hijabman, the impetus behind An American Family’s Blog, is himself unmarried and not a parent, but don’t let that stop you from at least checking out this Muslim family’s blog.

Perhaps, like his sisters you have some advice to offer him on finding a wife or even have a special someone in mind, so that he can too can join the parenting ranks. LOL.